


Forgotten

by Marinia



Series: Young Sides, Old Writing [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Arguing, Bittersweet Ending, Bullying, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Being an Idiot, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Names, Unhappy Ending, Young Sides (Sanders Sides), analogical friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 21:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21042791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marinia/pseuds/Marinia
Summary: Logic hadn't always been so cold. Vigilance used to be his friend. He never wanted to call him Anxiety. It hadn't been a choice.





	Forgotten

“What’s wrong,  _ Anxiety? _ Something scaring you again?” the Prince taunted. Vigilance had given up trying to keep up with the ever-changing names the fanciful Side used, just relieved that the Royal aesthetic stayed. He almost snarked back, but... Morality was looking so lost and worried again, looking between them. Besides, he knew how this would end. It wasn’t the first time. 

“Why do you care? Not like you could do anything about it,” he muttered, his hands burying themselves even deeper in his pockets. 

“I’ll have you know I am a  _ Prince-  _ I can do anything!” a dramatic pose highlighted the ludicrous statement, “Not that you’d know anything about Princes, you probably haven’t even watched any Disney movies yet!” The way he said it, it sounded like an insult, like he doubted Vigilance would even understand the quality of his  _ darling  _ movies. Vigilance felt himself draw up before even deciding to, poison collecting in his throat. 

“ _ Arthur _ ,” Logic scowled at the name, still displeased at its dramatic nature, “don’t be  _ quite  _ so preposterous, if it’s not too much of a challenge? We’re all parts of Thomas, therefore we can all access his memories, and therefore also know everything he does. At least  _ try  _ to make sense.” The currently smallest Side released a breath, as if dealing with Arthur had somehow tired him out already. “But then again, why would I ever expect you to even try such a thing? “ He sighed, again. Vigilance had to bite back a snickering grin, watching the Prince’s hurt face. “Come along, Vigilance, let’s go to my room, where we won’t be exposed to such… vexatious company.” 

Vigilance nodded, followed his friend. Patton was already playing nursemaid to Thomas’ bruised ego. Really, he should just get a thicker skin. He’d certainly forced Vigilance to develop one. 

“I hope he doesn’t get to you,” Logic said as soon as the door closed, suddenly worried as he looked over Vigilance, as if his emotional wounds would appear on him like they did with Creativity. They’d be hidden under his hoodie either way, but it didn’t stop the brain from acting like a mother-hen. Vigilance smiled, just a bit, at the way his friend was acting. “Nah, I’m okay, he’s just being dumb, like always.” 

“Well, yes, but-”

“Drop it, Logic? If I’m hurt you’d be the first to know, promise.”

“I- of course. I’m sorry, Vigilance, I shouldn’t have…”

“No, no, it’s cool. Thanks for stopping me from, you know, being a jackass in front of Patton.” Logic smiled at that. 

“So nothing’s changed?,” he grinned. He was thanked for his efforts with a pillow to the face, sputtering in indignation. “Hey!” Vigilance laughed soundlessly, before being hit with his previous weapon.

“Oh, now it’s  _ on!” _

* * *

The Prince, now calling himself Lancelot, had ‘won’ a fight of cutting words and scathing replies, again. Vigilance had spat vitriol he didn’t mean, again. 

“I hope you’re okay?” Logic asked, in the security of his room, again. But this time he didn’t get a reply right away. Vigilance just nodded, a jerky, unnatural-looking movement. 

“Yeah, course, ‘m always fine, just peachy,” he murmured, but the slight echo could still be heard. 

“… would you perhaps like a rubik’s cube?” 

Vigilance snorted. “Yeah, why not. Nerd.” 

Logic rolled his eyes,giving the other Side the cube, before turning to the bookshelf taking up two of his walls, almost bursting with the amount of knick-knacks, magazines, books and loose papers crammed into it. His desire for order would make itself known when Thomas started High School, but at this point in time he was more than content with the chaotic collection of knowledge he’d gathered over the years. 

Browsing the shelves, he quickly found a box with cassettes, each containing some of the music his host remembered. He discarded the ‘Rainforest Rap’ with a wistful look, instead going with that calming song that always ran on the radio after 10pm. He still didn’t know it’s name, and it was starting to annoy him-

But Vigilance relaxed as he recognized the familiar melody, his hands growing steadier as he worked on solving the rubik’s cube. Logic was happy letting him work on that, settling on his desk to try and figure out some of the concepts they’d just learned in Chemistry in the ‘back of Thomas’s head,’ so to speak, while Roman and Patton were the ones actively guiding his decisions. 

They didn’t talk, not about what was going on outside, not about what was going on with Vigilance. The silence was calm, peaceful. 

* * *

Logic had only found out about the fight after the fact, this time. 

“I hope you’re okay?,” he asked, unsure. 

“What do you think?” Vigilance hissed back, brittle. 

Logan almost snapped back, instinctual anger searching for an outlet, but he saw the tension in his friend’s shoulders, saw the way he made himself smaller, his arms curled around himself. He took a breath, long and deep. “Roman has been spending an alarming amount of time in the Imagination, it’s only logical that it’d impact his ability to judge reality.” 

That almost got Vigilance to smile. Logic wanted to see him smile. “Yeah, right.” 

The silence stretched between them, filling every nook and cranny, until it had stolen every hint of a noise. Logan was attempting to read the same line for the fiftieth time when he heard Vigilance take a breath. 

“Yes?” he asked, perhaps too quickly, eager for anything to break the quiet. 

“D’you think he’s right, though? I mean… it’s not like Thomas is gaining much from me being here, you know?” 

Logan hated Creativity, he  _ hated  _ him. He hated his impulsive nature and his righteous fury, his lack of care for the effect of his words. He hated everything about the fanciful Side, and if he could, he would’ve bruised him until he bled. 

His voice was smooth. “Don’t be silly, it doesn’t fit you,” he said, because that’s was what it was: silly, ridiculous fantasies that didn’t deserve a shred of his time, nor Vigilance’s. “You protect Thomas, we all know that.”

“Yeah? ‘Cause… I don’t think I’ve been doing much of that recently.”

“I- Thomas is in school, it makes sense that he’s not in a lot of dangerous situations, it’s even desirable.” 

“Try telling Princey that.” Vigilance grinned, a wry thing. 

“Like that air-head would ever listen to me, he’s too busy admiring his own reflection to even attempt understanding my point of view, let alone yours.”

“I guess.”

“It’s the truth, Vigilance. You’re not… You are needed, you hear me?” 

“Yeah, sure. Nerd…”

Silence settled over them, like a blanket. Vigilance leaned against his friend, both their thoughts running in seperate directions, but still together. 

“Thanks.”

“It’s nothing.”

“... it really is, L.” 

Logic didn’t quite know how to react to that. He leaned against his friend, fingers running over a black hoodie sleeve. “Logan,” he murmured. “If you wish to use it- that’s my name.” 

Vigilance smiled, softly. “I like it.” 

* * *

“SHUT UP!” 

“No! I will not shut up! You hurt Vigilance with your inconsiderate, unnecessary bout of- of nonsense! Just because you’re too busy with your delusional dreams doesn’t mean that your actions don’t have consequences!”

“I am aware of that, thank you very much! But it’s not my fault that your… dark,  _ dingy  _ doofus is being so fucking anxious about everything! Really,” Roman snapped, “if he wanted me to stop, he should just learn to chill for once!” 

Logan almost screamed. “You’re  _ insufferable!  _ Can you not at least try to understand him?”

“Why should I? Why do you even care? It’s not like  _ he _ does, right? Or is he too much of a coward to tell me? Well,  _ I  _ wouldn’t be surprised.” 

“You- I-”

“Aw, you’re speechless? What, you  _ like _ him? Is Logic getting some  _ feelings _ ?”

“NO!” But his voice broke, and Roman would use that to tease him for decades, he just  _ knew  _ it. And so he sighed and looked down on Roman even though he was three inches taller, before storming off in a huff. 

Roman would regret every single word he uttered as time passed, but in that moment all that counted was that he finally got the upper hand on Logic, that he didn’t feel quite so dumb, because whatever too-long words Logic used, he couldn’t deny what he felt. 

* * *

Vigilance noticed when Logan changed. He wasn’t as open, didn’t laugh as much, never really lost the serious mask he usually discarded whenever the door to his room closed. He tried not to be hurt, as his best friend became more like a stranger wearing his skin. 

He tried to get him to trust him, tried to find out what had changed, but he never found out. But, judging the gleeful, teasing remarks Roman kept sending their way, he could guess. 

* * *

“What did you do?” he asked, voice low and deep and echoing. 

Roman was almost scared. “What d’you mean?” he asked, lazily, ignoring the way Anxiety had crowded him against the fridge. Breathing deeply, consciously. 

“You know what, jackass,  _ what  _ did you  _ do  _ to Logan?” Roman blinked at the name. The other Side hadn’t revealed it to the others yet. 

“I didn’t  _ do  _ anything, worry wart. Why you ask,  _ trouble in paradise?” _

“Don’t be gross. I know you did something, and you’ll  **tell me** .”

“Or what?” 

“Or I’ll give you nightmares  **until you can’t even walk straight anymore** .” Usually, Roman would have laughed- Vigilance, trying to threaten him? The Prince? But he saw the darkness coiling on the floor, the way the shadows darkened, the way Anxiety’s eyes looked more like coals than eyes as the darkness sank into them. 

He still tried to laugh, of course, but it came out wrong, all choked and nervous, the exact opposite of what he wanted. 

“Yeah right, like- like you could ever do that.”

“ **You think I wouldn’t?” ** Anxiety’s voice was echoing through the room, shaking with either rage or fear. 

“I know it,  _ Anxiety _ . You couldn’t even tie your shoe laces without  _ Logan  _ to hold your hand.”

As he fell, Vigilance just barely caught him, already feeling guilty as he saw the fanciful Side grimace in his sleep. But he couldn’t change it now. He didn’t know how. Didn’t even know what exactly he’d done. 

Besides, the Prince deserved it for hurting Logan, so- it couldn’t be that bad, right?  ** _Right?_ **

* * *

Vigilance started wearing eyeshadow to cover up the bags under his eyes soon after that. Roman went for unholy amounts of concealer. 

* * *

Roman was tired, and he was furious. Ever since the… incident, none of his ideas had come out quite right, they’d always been slightly off, slightly false, slightly not-like-they-should-be and he knew it was Anxiety’s fault. That fiend! 

He may have the other’s convinced that he was someone good, or  _ worthwhile _ , but Roman knew better- he was nothing but a miserable villain trying to make other feel just as bad as he did if they  _ dared  _ to enjoy themselves, no care going to anyone else! 

And Logan trusted him, wasn’t  _ that  _ rich. He’d make them pay, the both of them. If Anxiety wanted to play dirty, he could have that. 

Only question was if he could handle the consequences. 

He’d told Morality that Logic seemed a bit more high-strung than usual, how about he spend some time with him, get him to open up? Morality had been so proud. He felt sick with himself. 

Anxiety was still in his room, but Roman knew that he didn’t sleep. It gave him a grim satisfaction, even as he felt disgusted with himself at the mere notion. It seemed to become a common theme. He forced himself not to mind it. 

He snuck into Loan’s room, unfamiliar with the mess of knowledge, random facts crammed together with complex concepts and weird gadgets. 

In the end, it was easy to find. 

It was a leather journal, the writing purple and neat. Roman skimmed over it, feeling bile hit his throat. But Anxiety deserved this, for making him hurt like this. 

In the end, he figured that changing the start would change everything that followed. 

He got one of the pen’s from Logic’s desk. For all he said that they all knew whatever Thomas did, everyone was aware that Logic was the keeper of their experiences, their collected knowledge. Even if Morality took everything to do with emotions…. Logic was the one who remembered when everyone else forgot. 

Rooms reflected their Sides. 

Roman had learned that when Logan had thrown away one of his ideas in anger, feeling it disappear from his brain, until nothing was left, unless you counted the gaping void where once there had been something- something great, he wanted to think, something original and fantastic and ingenious. 

But all he knew now was that it was gone. 

He striked through the name “Vigilance,” scribbling “Anxiety” over it to take its place. He watched as the ink shifted on the page, the name replacing itself, until… the name, th one from before, until it was gone. 

He almost threw up, but instead he hid the journal. 

Morality saw Roman run back to his room, heard the door be thrown shut. Later that night, he’d go to him, and he’d see the tears flowing down his face, as he hid his face in Patton’s embrace, trying to escape the guilt of what he’d done. 

Morality soothed him, even though he didn’t know what Roman had done. Roman wouldn’t tell him, because he knew that it had been wrong. It’d take a decade until he could face his mistake. And even longer until he could own up to it. 

* * *

When Anxiety came downstairs, he was still tired, his eyes bloodshot from having stared at his phone for so long. He drank some milk, frown deepening as he noticed how Logan wasn’t there. he checked the clock again. 3pm. Usually Logan was in the living room by now, reading some book or writing in one of his notebooks. 

It was a habit he’d developed ever since Morality had bothered him about isolating himself, and usually he wouldn’t break his routine like that. 

He knocked on his door out of courtesy, before going in. He froze as he saw Logan- surrounded by a mess of books and magazines and journals and loose papers and card games and post-it notes and knick-knacks. As he saw him, staring at a leather bound journal, his left hand stuffed into his mouth to quieten his sobs. 

“Logan?” His voice almost gave out. 

“I. An- I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t- Please, I didn’t, I don’t know what-” 

“Logan, what’s wrong?” 

He just shook his head, flinching as Anxiety came near him. 

“Logan, tell me what’s wrong!” 

“No! Get- get away!”

“Not before you tell me what’s wrong!”

“I said get out,  **Anxiety** !”

Ever since Roman had coined the nickname, Logan had rolled his eyes at it, had picked at it, had gone on tangents longer than a mile to explain why it was false. He’d made fun of it, had comforted him when Roman’s taunts got to him. Had called him silly, nerdy names to distract him. 

Ever since Roman had coined that awful nickname, that demeaning, dismissive term, he’d never once used it. As it became the only name Roman called him, as even Morality started using it, he’d never, not even  _ once _ used it. 

Anxiety couldn’t help the tears, as he fled. 

* * *

Logic tried to recover the name, but it was gone. He wanted to explain, but- what was he supposed to say? That he’d just forgotten? Who forgot their best friend’s name? 

Maybe Roman had been right, when he’d said that he was nothing but a faulty research cabinet. That could explain how he’d forgotten such a significant thing. If he was just… emotionless, it’d explain the gaping emptiness filling his head. 

He looked for another two days, but his movements slowed with time, as the realization sunk in. He’d forgotten. 

Seemed like he really was only Logic. Logic could forget things, if it wasn’t being crystal clear. Maybe he wouldn’t have forgotten if he hadn’t been so disjointed, hadn’t let his records catch dust, hadn’t let such vital information just slip away. 

He organized all Thomas knew, in the following four days and nights. He found a tie behind some papers about colour theory. All the men who worked, who were competent, who weren’t so forgetful, wore ties. 

Roman didn’t tease him when he started wearing it, he didn’t tease Logan for as long as there were red tinges in his eyes, betraying the tears that still escaped him sometimes. 

He jumped on… Anxiety instead 

Logan wanted to defend him, but the first time he’d tried, he’d hissed at him. Logan had almost broken down crying that instant, but he’d sobered up. 

As Roman saw Anxiety look at his used-to-be-best-friend like he was even worse than Roman himself, he almost puked. But he grinned instead, arrogant and self-satisfied, in a way that made him hate himself, but also pushed away the memories. 

In the end, they all went to their rooms, and Morality tried picking up the pieces. 

But some wounds were too deep to be healed. 

At least for now. 


End file.
